Have your attention now? My actual topic for the blog today is Acceptance.
I have learned a lot of lessons in the last 10 years. One of them is that accepting something is not the same thing as mindlessly allowing something to happen! In fact, the very process of accepting something implies* that there is something else being accepted to fill that spot.
Example. I accepted that a friend made the decision to move on in her life without our friendship. I accepted that, mostly because she gave me no choice. But in the place of that friendship, I accepted that there may be some personality quirks, flaws, if you like, that turn people off. I have been working on these as a part of my acceptance, and realized that there are some consistent facts that are me.
- I have a quick temper. Hits hot, burns off quickly.
- I have a sense of humor that some either don’t get, or don’t appreciate (or accept!)
- I am hard of hearing, and therefore have a loud voice my daughter compares to a megaphone. I have no whisper level.
- I interrupt. A lot. See #3. I often talk over people because I am not fully hearing all the convo. AND because I am…
- Impatient and in a hurry. Whether it is for a project to be completed, or someone else to stop speaking, I ride roughshod over others. Usually, but not always. I am a good listener when I am focused and alert. As my mother used to say “Be alert. The world needs more Lerts.”
So I have accepted that these are traits of my personality, whether by upbringing, evolution or health issues, and in my acceptance of these, I am assuming (as in “to take or begin to have (power, control, etc.) in a … situation“) responsibility and I am working on minimizing the friction of those attributes. Another way that acceptance plays out in everyone’s life is defining it for each situation.
You accept your faith. You are accepting of cultural differences. You have the mental state of acceptance when you have accepted something as true or believable. (The sky is blue. Democrats are liberal…) An acceptance of someone or something is also an indication that you approve of or believe in it (or them).I think we all should try to live in a state of grace, and a state of acceptance. As the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote (and 12-step programs have adopted)…
Some things and people in our lives cannot be comfortably accepted, or acknowledged. Yet part of acceptance is learning what that line is, and how to accept those things/people that are unchangeable. SO the next time you have struggled for a long time with a problem, accept that it is not yet ready to be solved, not solvable by you or missing something in order to be accepted/solved, so you move on, accepting your nonacceptance(!!) and finding a alternate pattern to the possibilities, allowing you to continue to grow and move forward. Remember, all you can change and fully embrace and accept is yourself and your own life. By accepting that, you are way ahead of the game!
*(I struggle with imply and infer – here’s my go-to source for info about them: http://www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/imply-infer/ )