WARNING – content may be offensive to some readers – swear words used!
“…Don’t Make Her Responsible For Her Own Orgasms, Too!…”
Today, I have voted this quote into my own personal library of great lines – and the title of this blog is in the top 10. It was the last line in Monday night’s (repeat) episode of The Big Bang Theory. I don’t watch The Big Bang Theory. In fact, I don’t LIKE The Big Bang Theory! (NO, The Big Bang Theory and Fox are NOT reimbursing me for saying The Big Bang Theory repeatedly…) But it was on right before the show I DO like, Fox’s Terra Nova. Call me one-dimensional and shallow… I like dinosaurs and starting a new life themes and Drs. with cute accents… I adore watching men kick in doors (heavy ones) and little girls raising unusual pets and teen-aged angst… I like these dot-dot-dots too – ellipsis as they are properly called.
Okay. Why did I love that line from The Big Bang Theory? I only have the vaguest idea what the plot was, I only fuzzily knew the characters’ relationships. But I am a feminist. I am outspoken and often profane. And I remember Donna Reed and Harriet Nelson and their ilk. (Lovely word, ilk…) I like people (men or women) who speak their minds. But I am mostly proud of the fact that women and minorities can stand up for their rights; politically, socially, locally, orgasmically. They don’t always GET those rights, but they have the right and the responsibility to stand up for them! Feminist or not, I love to cook, and make a home for my family, and be little Suzie Homemaker. But I made a conscious CHOICE.
I have always hated the term housewife – as the saying goes, I am not married to a house! Homemaker isn’t much better, which is why I sardonically used the term “Suzie Homemaker.” The classic picture still graces websites, cookbooks and novels; I just saw the covers of Jessica Seinfeld’s cookbooks. (look on Amazon for a peek at what the covers look like) “Domestic Engineer?” Give me a break. I am all for gender equality in the use of words – I LOVE saying “Our Father and Mother who art in Heaven…” in the Lord’s Prayer when I attend church, but some political correctness has gone too far. Appropriateness and sensibility need to rear their heads these days – ye gads! Sorry. Wrong Soap Box.
Tons have been written about women’s rights in the home (or, as they say, A woman’s place is in the House. AND in the Senate…) However, that isn’t really the path I thought I was taking with this topic… I was applauding the growth of women, and to a lesser degree, minorities, in the roles they play on TV or in the movies. Donna Reed’s pantry of kitchen-bound women gave way to Mary Tyler Moore, That Girl, and shows such as Friends and the gender/race equality shows of the 1980s, 90s and beyond. Dark Angel was fantastic – a strong woman who was genetically engineered! Give me strong sassy women with a mouth on ‘em any day! I think I wanna be Betty White when I grow up!
I was raised in a feminist household with 3 plus 1 older (not allowed to say bigger!) sisters (including our adopted/foster-sister Betty Anne – who has saved my ass more times than I care to admit) and a strong, albeit sensible/sensitive Dad, and a sensible/sensitive, albeit strong, Mother. They were not swearers. Even in my adulthood, I never heard anything worse than damn or hell, under extreme provocation. We weren’t encouraged to swear. Yet they gave me all the encouragement I ever needed to think for myself, and be responsive (and responsible) whenever I can, for what I say and do – including what I do for/to others. So I take the blame fully for my choices. However, being able to say orgasm (or write it) in public is glorious. My mother would not have done so – but she would have (probably!) accepted my choice to do so! I understand the lesson she tried to drum into me – “people who swear do so because they don’t have the vocabulary to use other more appropriate words.”
Yet words such as orgasm are perfectly valid words. Perhaps not at the dinner table, coming out of a pre-teen’s mouth, or used every other word, like many comedians use the word fuck… sigh… And as with frequent use, at least for me, DOES mean familiarity breeds contempt. I know many of you will agree that being able to cuss or say words like boob on TV are not exactly forward thinking or epoch-breaking intellectually, but my TRUE point is that when you stop dramatizing role-related behaviors and accepted mores (women don’t swear, men don’t cry, all blacks are poor single parents…) life becomes more enjoyable and more valuable. Just because I have the right to make these choices, doesn’t mean my choices are always good ones, or the right one in any given set of circumstances. It just means they are mine.
Those of you who know me well, know I AM likely to say to my son, as the character did in The Big Bang Theory, “Don’t make her responsible for her own orgasm! (too)” and he is very likely to respond, “bite me!” Ain’t the 21st Century GRAND?!
(This tongue in cheek blog brought to you by the letter F and the color black… stay tuned for a return to sanity (maybe) during the next blog post. Be sure to check out my craft blog too!)